The Humphrey Bean in Tonbridge and Malling

A lovely wetherspoons with everything you'd expect. Their usual menu and drinks are available. Lots of indoor and outdoor seating and surprisingly there isn't a mountain to climb for the toilets. Nice atmosphere and friendly staff. Been here a number of times and food/drinks have always arrived promptly. Clean and tidy.

Had a lovely lunch here with friends, the food was really good, the atmosphere was nice and the whole layout of the pub was perfect. Less than £56 for 3 adult meals, 2 kids meals, 2 side orders and drinks, bargain!

Very fast food on weekdays, unbeatable prices

Great food and prices. The staff is very nice

One of the nicer Wetherspoons. For once it doesn't stink, it's in a nice old historic building, bright with fun decoration inside. Good beer garden at the back.

Very unhygienic place food on empty tables for gyration stay. Plates dishes and cutlery all over the place and looked under staffed. Really needs better management. The drinks were fine and I would call again but check through the window first.

Best Wetherspoons I have ever been to. Nice staff, great beer garden, decent mix of customers. Reasonable prices and Shipyard IPA £2.99

Had a Meal here it was the Worst Meal I have ever, how hard is it to cook a burger, it came out burnt, sent it back and on return was no better. My wife had grilled chicken, it was so dry couldn't get a knife to cut it.

what a fantastic spoons busy but clean and tidy

I really fancied myself some bred (don't ask me why, just had a craving). Looked on the app and to my horror, bread was £1.34 for TWO SLICES!!! I couldn't quite believe it. Having priced check this with other well known establishments it was almost double the price of the nearest competitor. Needless to say I was not impressed and WILL NOT be buying this again. Kind regards Jemal

Good beer and service. Reasonable prices. How a pub should be.

Lovely countryside pub with a roaring fireplace. Ideal for a cosy meal on a chilly evening.

Just walked in after work. Ordered a pint, and the fella behind the bar refuses to pour my pint until I'd paid. Apparently, this is pub policy, not a Wetherspoon policy. I've been in some Wetherspoon places in tremendously rough areas, and never ever been asked to pay first. This is weak management, not being able to deal with customers who order drinks and don't pay. Absolutely pathetic

The staff work very hard to provide a great service, food and drinks are always great and cheap!

Very clean, staff polite. Did wait for nearly 30 mins for the food and then only luke warm. Seemed to have been waiting under a hot lamp to be collected.

Lovely place, lovely food, very friendly staff 😄🙂 ❤️❤️❤️ Very happy customer.😁🥰

Food portions have drastically reduced in size but still good value for money compared to other establishments. Atmosphere goid. Service is polite and efficient

Great Experience, lovely people!

Very slow service got the food before drinks

Had 3 drinks and had to wait 10 to 15 minutes to be served each time. Lots of of staff working but only 1 sometimes 2 staff serving at the bar. Bar was not busy

Well i like to come to this pub but today's attitude of the barmaid, Grace, was the worst i've seen in long time. I came here with my son for a meal and a drink, no lasagne, no pizza and so other things on the menu. When I've got the soft drink she already put ice, i said no ice please. She got angry saying, you didn't say that. I replied, you should ask if I want ice, my money. She said: tell that to my manager, very offended. I left and I came back for a straw and obviously she said we don't have any, waiting for delivery. Understand that, suppose she had any, she wouldn't give anything. Sorry for the bad review, this is as a circumstance at the barmaid attitude, I came here at least once a week with my son and my wife, sometimes 2-3 times a week, we like this place, we like wetherspoons, but we should be treat nice.

Dirty tables, empty sauces, non attentive staff

Filthy cutlery on every visit, dirty sticky tables, food partially cold and sat next to a table that hadn't been cleared from previous customers in fact staff were collecting more from other tables and adding to it before taking to the kitchen. That was my last ever visit. It's unhygienic totally disgusting.

Hit and miss definitely more misses

Very lovely service and staff. Very busy as it was raining, but lovely fire to keep you warm. Haggis was nice touch for burns night

Lovely spoons nice and spacious and nice big garden

Never disappointed. Staff work very hard.

my server amber was so polite and helpful, she made my experience so great. so happy and cheerful

Cheap, cheerful with a lively atmosphere most of the time.

Basic food, basic service, just a normal Weatherpooons really

Not great, pretty rushed. Hardly any food being served still out of staff. Ordered the extra 4 poppadoms and dips only 2 turn up. Asked the waiter for the other two told no and I was wrong.Got a menu pointed it out. Asked again got told he was to busy. Went to the manager explained again (got another no to start with) ...had to explain I wasn't happy with the service. "So what you are saying is you should have 6 poppadoms" err yes as I ordered (they were to share) No apology for the service. Really odd if you make a mistake, it happens... Eventually 2 poppadoms turn up. Not great and we are regulars

Been to this pub plenty of times but had amazing service from hanna (hannah?) Who was such a gem and so lovely, when I asked about the cookie crunch she was brilliant and very understanding. Would 100% recommend.

Many many good times But live in Ipswich Suffolk now So visit when ! Can

One if teh better weatherspoon pubs.

Great atmosphere food average but reasonable prices

Very nice looking building and food was good

Always love going here for good value food and drink, nice friendly team. Thank you!

Burger was inedible, burnt and dry. Chips hot and crisp. Wine passable. Wiltshire ham and cheese panini was almost devoid of cheese. Overall experience extremely disappointing

Good value. Extremely busy and staff could not keep up with clearing tables. Very noisy. I'm sure it's not always like this as there was a Christmas Market outside

Food portions smaller than I remember, and not very warm. Drinks still at very competitive price

the emo girl w reddish brown hair was so nice and helpful

Burger was like rubber, service slow even though I was the only one waiting and lacks any atmosphere

My friend and I popped into our local spoons for lunch. Today our barman Tyler was friendly and efficient. He told us all about the new festive menu, tempting us to try the turkey dinner. It arrived pretty quickly and was very nice, I loved the pigs in blankets. Its a generous size meal and I needed a nap afterwards.

Massive Wetherspoons set on the high street in Tonbridge. It’s good a big beer garden out back and lots of seating inside. Use to app to order your food and drinks direct to your table.

Do not go to this pub if you have a car! Stopped off for a quick pint at 9:20pm on a weekday, carpark is very darkly lit around the back. Received a £75 fine a few days later (but they'll reduce to £45 if you pay immediately! They are good guys!!) The cheap beer isn't worth it!

Don't go here if you have a car. Parking is in a really dark carpark around the back. Couldn't see any signs about parking £75 fine a few days later

Had breakfast there with large group, food came out quickly and no complaints from anyone about quality or quantity. Atmosphere not a lot in morning but can imagine when fuller would be good.

Last cooked breakie here for me. Even after asking nicely, and the server sending a note to the kitchen re hot food, please, the kitchen again sent out a cold breakfast. Appreciated the coffee top up, and it's a healthy porridge from now on...

Standard spoons. Cheap beer and food, don't expect quality in either but service good. Just about the only late eatery in Tonbridge.

This was very near where we were staying overnight so called in for dinner. My first choice not available so went for pasta as did not fancy much on the menu. Shocked when it came out as only a tiny amount in bowl - couple of spoonfuls? Very congealed and pasta starting to go brown on edges as seems to have been waiting around under heat light. Husband satisfied with his fish and chips. I had finished the pasta well before he finished his meal and still felt hungry as so little of it. Complained to young man collecting plates and he admitted it had been prepared well in advance of ordering. They should be ashamed of charging nearly £10 for a bowl of next to nothing!

a massive than you too chandler for making my partners birthday a great day good food great service highly recommended mike and flick

Quick service, wifi, good food, many tables, clean toilets. No parking, on the main road,

Tried to get another drink at the bar and was told to go to the back of the queue where people ordered their food.

1st visit, evening meal before camping 🏕 As a Spoons should be; Good food, great staff, nice atmosphere 👍

Very disappointed. Ordered 2 large mixed grills, when ordering asked for steak to be cooked rare, only to be told the pack all comes together so is cooked for same time. Both steaks came out well done and pretty much inedible. How difficult is it to cook a steak correctly. Staff were not very accomadating. Very unhappy

Easily a top 2 Wetherspoons in all of Tonbridge. Waiting times were a bit long but my mum always says "You can't rush perfection", bless her heart. Highly recommended the apple crumble AND ice cream.

Food came out hot and delicious. Props to the kitchen staff. Well crafted leadership for the back of house. We had a server bring us our pints and food, Chandler I believe, who was knowledgeable and very professional. Will be back for another outstanding experience.

great beer selection and fun environment ! i think chandler deserves a raise from how helpful he was. asked to compliment the chef and i forget her name but that blonde girl made a damn good margarita pizza. she deserves a raise too!

Spoons is always our go-to for a quick pint, or an inexpensive meal, The staff are friendly and the service is quick. It has a large garden, is child friendly and has a car park at the rear. From the car park, it's flat all the way to the door, so wheelchair friendly

I went into the restaurant to pickup a hot chocolate, fanatic upbeat and joyful customer service.

A pint and cod & chips all for £11.72, excellent lunch value

Everything was as expected in a Spoons. Ok food. Ok service. Ok atmosphere. The air con on a sweltering hot day was a godsend.

Vast space with a great garden and lots of wasps

On a sultry early September 2023 Sunday evening, I enjoyed a small beef burger with an excellent salad plus a Pepsi and a half pint of Pale Ale for just over GBP7. Excellent value. It has a beer garden but I sat inside as it was cooler. Pleasant and efficient staff.

Great food, really friendly staff - you can really tell that they work hard. Shame about other customers being so rude to them. Drinks reasonably priced for the times, nice pizzas

Food tastes funny and really dry panini , burger bun smelt funny , could tell lasagne was obviously microwaved. Spilt sauce all over plate . Spilt sauce over glass case dropped knife and didn’t bother replacing it.

Same old same old beers. Hoping to be surprised with an ipa of 4.5+apv. One day perhaps. Oops there's a fly pig coming across. Settled for a gin & tonic which was an unbelievable just over £2. Could start doing this drink rather than real ale. 1 new ipa ale of 4.5percent wouldn't break the bank 🤔🤔

Good food,good beer, good prices

As Wethers go nice pub, lovely garden space

Tasty meal at incredibly low price.

Left my phone there phoned them and very pleased. To say it was handed in thank-you so much to the person who did this and bar staff who kept it until I picked it up

English breakfast always delicious and never disappointed ever

I've admired this pub for quite some time. It's well run, and does a good job despite being short of staff at times (this is not their fault, I assume, but the product of a labour famine). I would pick out a guy called Pete, who works like a Trojan but also takes the time to be friendly and have a chat with customers when he can. Times are hard, and especially this winter with the cost of living crisis and sky-high energy bills, this pub has become a refuge for people who need the warm and for just over a quid can get unlimited hot drinks. It's a good place.

Decent spoons. The app service is atrocious, even when but busy.

Gammon and eggs were over cooked

The food is big, tasty and affordable.

Good size food portions, promptly delivered to our table. A classic example of a Wetherspoon providing just what we went there for.

Yeah love a bit of weather spoons always nice for a beer and a bite to eat

Great prices and variety on menu

Do you know what? The food's not the best, the service is sometimes surly, but it's cheap and you know what you're getting from a Wetherspoons. This is one of my favourites and I recommend. We'll be back if we're ever in Tonbridge again.

Fast, clean toilets, not high end dinning, Good value for money, nice outside tarras.

Doesn't look big from outside but that's deceptive. Nice airy building on one level. Outside seating area at the rear. Nice atmosphere. Didn't eat here but had a couple of Stella's. Prices were £3.60 for a pint which is usual for Tim's establishments. I really like Tonbridge. Premier inn a mile away with rooms for £85.00 per night. Walk to the train station. 4 stops to Charing Cross. Watch a show head back & save £200.00 on a hotel in London. Use the money you save on a lovely meal next door to the Premier Inn at the Vauxhall Inn. Can't go wrong. Try it & leave a comment

Nice little beer garden. Spent the whole day out there. Can't judge the food because I didn't have any.

The bar staff were friendly and we didn't have to wait long to be served. There were 10 of us eating and food all came out at the same time, which was good. All food was hot too. I had a burger which I personally didn't like much as it didn't have much flavour and was dry and the chips weren't that nice. But others had curry and chicken things that they all enjoyed.

Excellent garden, great staff very helpful. Good atmosphere. Prices are very reasonable and good quality.

Another great conversion by spoons.

nice pub, has a lovely beer garden that backs onto the wall of the castle. other than that just your standard run of the mill weatherspoons pub.

Good breakfast at reasonable price

Was ok, nothing special, nothing terrible

Excellent value for money good beer and food

Staff friendly and helpful. Food was very good. 2x mixed grill with chips

Went here for a re-union with some great Work Friends. A very good Pub and Restaurant with an extensive menu and good choice of Food and Drinks. An enjoyable experience and a good place to visit.

The meal was just warm, but looked dry as if it had been heated in a microwave. Food took longer to arrive than most of the Weatherspoon pubs we have been to. Serving staff were friendly but seemed a bit confused about table numbers etc. Not as busy as other branches of this pub chain.

Everything was great, staff, food was what was expected. Just unfortunately there was a family that turned up whilst I was eating and were very loud who had no respect for anyone but themselves. Their children ran about and the mum, (if you want to call her that) just shouted and swore at them.... I felt really sorry for the children.... awful atmosphere. Had my food quickly and left....would of stayed for more drinks otherwise...

Been here before and it was fine but today not great. The gammon came out and the guy said the chef didn't have any eggs to go with it. We weren't give any other option or told when ordered. The guy went back to the kitchen and the chef offered poach eggs. We accepted and guessed that the eggs must already come in poached as they could have done fried. The portion of chips is just ridiculous. it's more like a childs portion.The pizza was so undercooked when I picked it up the topping slid off and you could also fold over like a wrap. Sent it back and the new one was fine. Couldn't find any serviets anywhere, requested them and the guy forgot to get them so had to ask again. The queuing thing at the bar isn't clear and if that is what they expect then make a sign to avoid awkward conversations with others when they just lean against the bar in front of you. Not impressed with staff, no one seemed friendly or keen to assist. The guy collecting glasses looked like a gangster. I think you guys needs to up your game. Just low prices will not keep people coming back.

Generally good value. Nice meal. Only trouble is screaming kids and parents who can't control them

Unusual for me to rate a Spoons this low. Not really sure what was going on this day but clearly understaffed at the bar. Took ages to be served. Food was ok but took a while as well. Hope it improves.

Outwardly respectable looking but the atmosphere inside is really rather depressing. I am told that this is often the case in Wetherspoon establishments. I really didn't feel like staying.

Popped in for a coffee and a small bite to eat around 11.30am. Had two refill cups and selected for bacon butties. Clean tables, friendly atmosphere and friendly waiting staff. Food was nice and was served quickly and hot. Overall, we were both happy with our visit.

The choice of drinks and food is always extensive, and better than reasonably priced. The staff are polite, hard working and attentive. Their Manager Sam is an amazing leader and compassionate team player, who promotes, supports or assists his staff. All in all a very successful team.