The Tale Of Two, Craft Bar & Restaurant in North East Lincolnshire

WARNING Went on the 8th of July for a couple of cocktails with my partner, was lovely. The Espresso Martini and Long Island Iced Tea were superb. We notice an all you can drink brunch option, so reserved for the 10th. Upon our arrival on the 10th we were given a separate drinks menu, one about 1/4 of the main menu size, which wasn't stipulated on the offer. Nor was the fact that it's two portions of food per person (well sides and they were really good to be fair) Now this is where it gets dodgy...the two drinks I had on the 8th got me just as merry as the 9 drinks I had on the 10th. So clearly they were being watered down at some point. I'm very disappointed in this place, it looked like it could've been something special but ended up being what I can only describe as a misleading and potential tourist trap. On a side note, the floor was sticky and the bathroom smelt so strong of urine that I had to pull my shirt over my nose. Last time I was in a place that dirty it was Sugar Cubes in Lincoln City centre.

Wouldn't go in here again if you paid me

Busy for a drinks venue. Funky atmosphere, great staff. Loos need attention . Music was out of balance. Too much bass

Been here a few times and always love it. However on the 19th July ( day time drinking ) I went in for some birthday drinks and the gentleman behind the bar was fabulous and friendly. Made me a fabulous cocktail for my birthday and helped me get my phone charged. Will definitely be back and now I have a new fabulous cocktail thanks to him.

Did like going in here but the last time i got a cider they hadmt cleaned the pipes out. It is a nice little place though

Friendly bartender, great cocktails, lovely decor. Defo worth a visit.

I live and died at Riverside I worked here for 12 years it's armed forces weekend got a blue moon and it's sour..... Sort it out what a disgrace to boss man Dave alan! He set you up for the perfect empire ....sort it out!

Trendy, good for the Friday night loud music lovers

Visited for a family meal 6pm on a Friday. The restaurant upstairs was presented really well and made very comfortable. We were lucky enough to get a window seat and view of the sea. Having mentioned GF, the manager came over before I ordered, which is always good if there are any questions about the menu. Hunters chicken (gf) and fish and chips were brilliant, better than your usual pub food and the sundae we shared was huge! Our waitress was really friendly and attentive. Unfortunately no pics taken, but highly recommended.

Fish very good but chips cold asked for fresh ones but all inedible been in the past but will not go again

Only came here for one drink but it has a good selection of drinks, decent decor, although it's a bit pricey.

Had my hen do party 🥳 🎉 here making cocktails it was fantastic, thanks for everything guys had a great time 🥳🎈🎊😘😘

Lovely little find for my birthday. The staff were brilliant and friendly, couldn't do enough. The restaurant was lovely and view of the beach too while dining. The food was fantastic and can't beat a good cocktail and their's were lush. Will definitely be visiting again

Lovely service and atmosphere, fantastic food

Food amazing! 10/10 fantastic staff.

Great place and the food was amazing really filling and tasty!!! Praise to the chef!!

Lovely food, excellent service, great atmosphere, couldn’t l fault it & can’t wait to come again. Thank you for a lovely evening 😊

Food was beautiful as always, staff were amazing and food came out in no time. Great portion size for the prices. Amazing service as well highly recommend going there for food if you are after a different cuisine

Had my daughters 16th birthday party here today, can not fault anything, staff were amazing, food was out of this world. Thank you to everyone who put in the effort to make it perfect. We had constant checks from management to see if we needed anything more doing can't fault a thing! Xx

This was OK. That's it really, a mixed bag. We booked a table and advised in advance that a couple of our group are gluten free. We were sat on a dirty table and next to a dirty table so I asked to move. No GF options highlighted so we asked and got a scrap piece of paper with the options scribbled in pencil on it. Only 4 wines listed in the whole place. But I have to say some of the food that came out was really good, tapas dishes which were tasty, one was cold but was sorted quickly with no fuss. I think its a good place for a quick bite but its not restaurant standard. Maybe it needs to decide if it wants to be a proper restaurant or be a very good and funky snack bar.

Bit of a bland atmosphere. OK as a meeting point. Cocktails didn't taste the best

Too noisy a day no atmosphere, even 10 days b4 Xmas

We had booked in for 10 people and we didn't really know what to expect as we have heard really mixed feedback on this place, but from start to finish it was really good, the menu was explained really well by Danny and the food was lovely. And the service was fantastic, we most definitely will be back. Highly Recommend!

Enjoy an amazing meal upstairs in the restaurant. Had ‘Date night’ deal that they advertised on Facebook. Spend £25 on food per couple and get a free bottle of wine and deserts that would’ve served 6 people! Beautiful tapas food and lovely service. We were served by Chris who was great. Will be returning.

Lovely friendly welcome, nice drinks and I enjoyed the ambience of the lighting.

Beautiful food , lovely staff , clean and tidy area . would recommend 👌

If I could give this place zero stars I would. We're do I start . We had a table of ten booked for my step daughters birthday we arrived to be seated at the wrong table and then moved to another table . We had all pre ordered food in advance and once every one arrived the order was read out to us all . Then the food started to come out and before you knew it there was numerous items missing . The young waitress was asked if the rest of the food was coming out to them be told we hadn't pre ordered what was missing ( even though it was read out to us ). We wer also promised bread to compliment the table instead of ordering starters which . Eventually after we'd eaten the bread arrived ( a mere slice of bread which was enough for one person ). Then we asked if the child's chicken and chips was coming out as everyone was eating... The waiter apologised and then brought it out 5 mins later . To the horror of the parent she cut into the chicken to then realise it was RAW ! UMAGINE IF THE 4 YEAR OLD CHILD IN QUESTION WOULD OF EATEN THIS . we complained to the manager and rightly so to be fobbed off with numerous excuses to then say after eventually saying he would give us 20%off the order but still charged us for the undercooked meal !!! Waited around 45 minutes for the table to be cleared all in an absolute shambles and a dive quite politely . Won't be eating again here .

If I could give this place zero stars I would. We're do I start . We had a table of ten booked for my step daughters birthday we arrived to be seated at the wrong table and then moved to another table . We had all pre ordered food in advance and once every one arrived the order was read out to us all . Then the food started to come out and before you knew it there was numerous items missing . The young waitress was asked if the rest of the food was coming out to them be told we hadn't pre ordered what was missing ( even though it was read out to us ). We wer also promised bread to compliment the table instead of ordering starters which . Eventually after we'd eaten the bread arrived ( a mere slice of bread which was enough for one person ). Then we asked if the child's chicken and chips was coming out as everyone was eating... The waiter apologised and then brought it out 5 mins later . To the horror of the parent she cut into the chicken to then realise it was RAW ! UMAGINE IF THE 4 YEAR OLD CHILD IN QUESTION WOULD OF EATEN THIS . we complained to the manager and rightly so to be fobbed off with numerous excuses to then say after eventually saying he would give us 20%off the order but still charged us for the undercooked meal !!! Waited around 45 minutes for the table to be cleared all in an absolute shambles and a dive quite politely . Won't be eating again here .

I have been there 2 times, once for cocktails and were amazing, also the barman was great and service very good. The other time I went for a party, and although is a nice venue, buffet food is not the greatest. I haven tried the actual restaurant food but really looking forward to it to give a full review

Had a fabulous night. Private room for cocktail making lesson. Staff were really friendly. Afterwards we went down to the main bar and joined in the fun - dancing the night away.

Had a 7pm Friday night booking. Place wasn’t too busy but enough people to create a nice atmosphere. Service was great in terms of taking our order, friendly and helpful when we asked a few questions. Only negative (if that at all) was it took them a while to come round afterwards to clear and sort bill. But at least we weren’t hurried away. Shout out to Dylan who was excellent! The big 5 stars here is the food. It was outstanding! Every dish was delicious and beautifully made.

The food is wonderful and so are the staff

Tuesday evening and the place was quiet as to be expected. Bar staff on mobile phones . The place is filthy and needs a good clean. I suggest you get your bar staff giving it a good clean whilst they are stood around doing nothing! Toilets disgusting .

We came for a 75th birthday meal. We hired the restaurant upstairs and the staff were really helpful in helping us organise our party. The room is lovely, with a fantastic sea view. Every single one of our party enjoyed their food. The tapas was superbly presented,tasted delicious and was a good sized portion. I am local and eat out in Cleethorpes regularly and have to say this was the best meal I have had in quite some time. My husband felt the same. Good value for the quality of food. Well done tale of two, we will be back

Rainy cod Wednesday night in the middle of summer so not very busy.. No food just drinks

We booked for a birthday meal, arrived the place was quite empty for a Saturday night, shown to a small table, there was holes in the wall and the place looked tired and dirty, the young lad that showed us to the table walked off didnt ask if we wanted a drink, we asked for the wine menu and ordered a bottle of wine and some ice, he came back and plonked the wine down, didnt open it, no ice and the glasses were dirty with lipstick on. We paid for the wine and left. We didnt try the food, needs a food clean and staff training on customer service

Well 'Tale of Two', you have the potential of a great business but your staffing and management is appalling! After attending a wedding there yesterday (where everybody had pre ordered their food), I watched the food come out over a 15/20 minute period, which saw people finishing their meal before others had even received theirs - not good enough! There was only one member of staff to serve 40 people at the bar, you can imagine the queue and upon entering the restaurant upstairs, the place was freezing - the aircon was not needed, nor switched off! My pre ordered food (fish and chips) never came and instead I was given 3 and a half goujons with chips and told they had run out of fish! And then to rub salt in the wound, I was charged for fish and chips, which is £5 more than goujons - disgusting! You obviously have a great chef, as the food was excellent but the staffing and management is appalling and will continue to lose you business - as I for one, will certainly not be going back again. It was indeed a 'Tale of Two'! Great food and appalling service!! UPDATED REPLY. Thank you for your reply, you didn't have too and it is appreciated! Being a member of staff down is never good and I understand the problems it can cause! I don't necessarily agree with all your reply but airing pedantic points over Google is pointless and I thank you for the offer of a meal on the house, which I will gladly accept ..., happily review and eat my words! Thank you

It’s more a bar than restaurant, an The guy serving was rushed off his feet! He was working the bar/waitering/cleaning for at least 35-40 ppl they guy did an outstanding job in my opinion. He recognised that we had been waiting an was always apologetic to The situation, in my opinion the food is good home made tapas (little disappointed) with the “tiger prawns” but non the less both myself an my partner really enjoyed the other plates we had. The kids had 3 large chicken tenders an chips. An overall a solid 8/10 experience IMO I’ve eaten at quality establishments an for me this place was a very good tapas bar - the guy serving made it if I’m honest genuine nice guy an gave us a round of drinks for free upon our slight wait. Would definitely recommend

Amazing food, great atmosphere and nice staff. It was our servers first shift there on Friday night & she was lovely, really attentive. Will definitely be coming again!

Made a good night great Good food good service Waitress was new her first night at work but was helpful and polite

The food was AMAZING and if the review was based on this alone it would be 5 stars however the service was terrible and drags the whole review down. Probably only half of tables filled yet service was appallingly. Sat for 15 minutes before someone came to take drinks order. Another 15 minutes for drinks to arrive. The young blonde waitress only seemed to be serving 2 tables consistently. No check back done once food arrived and after asking twice for a sauce for a child who’s meal was already here, I ended up going to the kitchen entrance and asking myself. Didn’t expect what appears to be the manager being shirty about this by saying “this is the kitchen and if you need something you should ask a server” Young blonde waitress very rude and arrogant and requires some serious training (for starters moving S&P pots off table before spraying chemicals on the table is lesson 1 of how not to make customers ill!) Ultimately we didn’t pay nearly £100 for a nice meal to be served by the local Wetherspoons barmaid. Crop tops and long hair that isn’t put up have no place in fine dining (and are also against health and hygiene regulations) so really decide what kind of establishment you want to be - a cool bar or an upscale restaurant? The only thing they do quickly is bring out the bill and collect the cash from the table! And even then once paid we were asked twice how we would like to pay by different people! Real shame as the food was literally amazing - the best tapas I’ve had in England for sure.

I absolutely love this place,the atmosphere is spot on, lovely staff serving tasty food and drinks.And lots of music 🎶

We arrived a little late on a Tuesday night. A few 40 something year olds looking for a few drinks. Clean environment, friendly bar staff, reasonably priced drinks. It was very quiet but it was a Tuesday. Enjoyed our stay and will visit again.

Food a1 staff spot on service only visited in the day time nights must be ace

Booked a table in the restaurant which was closed when we got there - had to sit in bar with loud music and even louder people. Food and staff were okay but not enough to make up for the disappointing dining experience.

Was only just OK, floors were very sticky, not been cleaned in a while.

I love this place on every aspect of it. The decor, the atmosphere, the music, the food, the choice of beverages, the cocktails, the looked after and clean bathrooms, the security that make sure things are run smoothly and most importantly the amazing staff and management that make sure to bring the experience to a higher level by treating you as part of the family and respect you. They all go above and beyond to make sure you have a wonderful time. Edited to Include another visit which was cocktail night.....every single one was done to a high standard with special touches and the taste is gorgeous .....one of my go to favourites 'A dead man's tipple' 10 out of 10 for taste. Flaming Zombie is not for the faint hearted but a gorgeous mix of fruit and different rums 10 out 10 for alcohol volume!!! Strawberry and passion fruit Mojito is a wonderful combo of colours and taste 10 out of 10 for aesthetics and flavour. The sweetie of the lot was the Fruit Pastille, sweet in taste and look I give it 10/10 for fun! For the daring and coffee lovers the Espresso Martini has a serious coffee kick , for me it's a little too sharp and not sweet enough. So an 8/10, however it looks amazing. A wonderful Wednesday evening all round 🍸🍹

We were stuck in the restaurant for 3 hours as the food took so long to arrive. Staff never walked around the room so when we wanted to order more drinks/food we had to go look for them. The manager (or some senior member of staff) started an argument with two different groups of customers, and eventually ended up squaring up to one that stood up to leave. Made aggressive hand gestures while arguing and took an aggressive posture of leaning over the customers and their table while doing so. While the entertainment of this unprofessionalism helped pass the time while we waited far too long for the food, it also definitely made sure we won't come back. Cocktails were nice though.

Lacks atmosphere. Bar staff have attitude that makes customers uncomfortable.

Not tried here before but I don’t think we will go back. As you walk in, it looks nice. Was very quiet - no staff behind the bar acknowledged us as we walked in to say hi. The drinks were ok but when the tapas arrived I’d say it was salty, a little bland and disappointing.

Bar staff were unfriendly, stood waiting at bar to order for ages while they mixed cocktails for other customers but not once said "sorry about your wait or we will not be long" when the guy finally served us he did not say a word and got the impression we were bothering him with our order. This happened on all 3 occasions of going to the bar. Even my son noticed how rude they were. We will not be going again.

Lovely place brilliant atmosphere would definitely recommend 😀

I was abit worried about this meal after look at Tripadvisor but so pleased we stuck with it. The restaurant is upstairs from the lively bar. Fantastic service, food and cocktails and good value for money especially the Flat Iron Steak for £15.50! Lovely evening.

Two broken seats in the ladies toilet, reported it to Bar staff not interested.

Loved it ! Couple of choices could have done with being hotter but would definitely go again

The rudest miserable staff ever I don't know why they don't get a job somewhere else if they don't like it that much and overpriced

Work needed on the music. Terrible for a sat night. Everything else great

Visited yesterday for tapas, advice don't bother, cold dishes which should have been hot. Very poor customer service, barstaff one in particular clearly requires training overall very poor, in such times where people are short of money I would suggest this establishment needs to up its game, Won't be visiting again

Very empty on visit, wine choice very poor.

The staff were rude and we were made to feel like an inconvenience, even though the restaurant was empty (we were one of the first bookings of the evening). Throughout the duration of our meal, we could hear the staff complaining and being very short/rude to other diners. The portions were meagre and the food wasn't up to the standard I remember - £6 for two chicken goujons which were batter with a morsel of dry chicken in the middle, another £6 for chorizo in red wine, which turned out to be 4 small chunks of chorizo in water - I could go on. We often visit tapas bars and restaurants and I have to say, this is the worst we've been to. We went elsewhere afterwards for more food as we couldn't justify ordering any more dishes. Although we enjoyed the glass of wine and cocktail that we had, if you are looking to eat, save your money and go elsewhere.

Despite booking well in advance, our party was left thoroughly disappointed. Food orders were wrong, zero table service and tried to charge us a lot more than the menu we had. The food was ok although the portions were tiny and a lot of things missing. Avoid

It was a real shame that our food was cold and that we had a small child's portion of veg.

Had booked in for our work’s Christmas party. They were very busy and only had 2 servers on. We waited nearly 45 minutes for our drinks, we had to ask for our starters after 1.5 hours we cancelled our food and let. We felt sorry for the 2 servers but Tale of two should have had more people working. Will not be going back

Mostly empty when I arrived. The barmaid was friendly and had a good sense of humour. Had 1 and left for somewhere with a better selection of drinks.

Lovely Christmas dinner for our works party but the food was not hot.

My friend and I booked a table(Monday 28th November,12:30,we got there 12:30 and nobody was around but could hear people laughing in the back and talking. I kept saying “hello” to get some help and nobody came. Surely they knew a table was booked prior. 8 minutes later I decided to go closer to the laughing and talking and someone did come out. It was a very cold reception. (Young guy)He told us to sit wherever we liked and so we did. 10-15 minutes later he kept bringing out glasses to the bar and whatever else he was doing. No one or the bartenders guy came to at least offer drinks before we ordered. We waited and waited until we decided to leave the establishment as no one came and I wasn’t going to spend my money where the customer service is so POOR. Never again!!!!!!

Poor selection of beers and overpriced

Booked a table in October for 3 work colleagues for our Christmas meal. Just received an email to say I’d cancelled it, which I hadn’t. When called to query, was told that was now booked with a larger party and could no longer honour my booking that was made 6 weeks previously. Businesses who treat customers this way do not deserve their custom.

Went for tapas, restaurant upstairs was closed so had to sit in the bar. Thumping loud music forced us to change our minds about eating there as we were unable to form any conversation.

Absolutely shocking! Felt sorry for the youngsters left to front the customers who had no food. Left after 1 hour 40 and still only received 2 of 6 tapas dishes. Definitely give it a miss!!

On a very busy evening at other restaurants, this restaurant was not busy. The waitress was not terribly friendly and got our order wrong.

Just had drinks but will be returning to try the food, service was slow due to lack of staff

Decent menu with plenty of choose. I had the haddock and it was very good. Plenty if white fish the batter was crispy. Decent vegetarian menu too my partner had halloumi burger and said it was very good. The bar area is very clean with friendly and helpful staff. It was a Sunday at opening at 12:00 so not very busy busy service was very prompt. Would highly recommend

Terrible service and when the food finally arrived after an hour and a half it was cold!!!

There are a lot of lovely places to eat. Tale of Two, Trawlerman, All you can eat Chinese,Grovenor, Weatherspoons, Ocean Fish Restaurant

Went to this place mid July for drinks with friends. (Saturday Night) music nice to start with then got louder and louder until we couldn't have a conversation so left.

Friendly staff and great location with good food and drinks

Huge disappointment. Booked a works meal out. When we arrived and asked about our table the staff seemed unsure of where we'd been allocated, nothing was set aside as reserved. We were then told to use the booths which wasn't ideal as we'd be grouped...

Been a few times recently for drinks , this place has seriously gone downhill! Not enough staff on and they don’t even know how to mix cocktails . The girl tried to make me a mojito using vodka the other week . I think they...

My parent had booked for their milestone birthday/wedding anniversary with our family. As we arrived, we said we had a table booked for that afternoon and the staff checked on the screen but wasn’t sure, asked colleagues and directed us to a table which was...

Arrived for a nice Tapas get together on a Monday evening at 7.30pm, only to be told no food left!! Questioned why, bar girl took a sip of drink she had behind the bar and said one minute then disappeared. Absolutely ridiculous and RUDE. What...

Have already posted a review of this place, loved it!

We came to Tale of two for my friend’s 40th. We had tapas and it was delicious. Special mention to our waiter , Stevie who totally made our night. He wore one our hats that we had made especially for the night when he brought...

As a group of friends catching up in the summer holidays, we came in to the Tale of Two and asked for a bottle of Prosecco. We were told we’d be lucky if we got one that wasn’t chilled but they’d look. The guy behind...

Multiple dishes “not available” from the menu, making a small menu even smaller. Wines on the drinks menu also not available. Food was pretty bland and not as described on the menu. We were told earlier in the day when booking the table that they do not have a childrens menu but they could do a half portion for half the standard menu price….Upon ordering the food we were told this was not the case and so had to order and pay full price for a meal for a 13 month old. Waiting staff were friendly but pretty much none existent after the food was brought to the table. The restaurant itself is really well presented and decorated modern so a real shame the food and menu issues were so poor.

Booked cocktail making for my friends hen party, from start to finish it was amazing. we laughed all the way through it. We chose the cocktail making with nibbles. The food was amazing and you got plenty. It was a party of 21 and everyone...

Lovely lunch, very reasonably priced. Barman was very nice and attentive.

The guy took 20 minutes to make 3 cocktails - drank the remaining of someone else’s cocktails before making ours- went it to ask where ours were said 5 minutes was sat on his phone. Then short changed us by £10 and had to go and tell him. Not happy with the service

Went in couple of week's back on a Sunday and first cocktail made glass was absolutely filthy ,asked for second and again glass filthy so brought another,then noticed barman's nail's were also filthy errr! 3rd time cocktail wasn't mixed properly at all ,spoke to manager who asked to bring me another different cocktail and was brought a different one but seriously gone down hill in here.

Great staff, very friendly, very helpful, clean and very comfortable....

Should be ashamed of thelves today. National armed forces day. Tried to play their music louder than the band accross the road on a stage and when fireworks were on to music to start should have been with it but we could not hear a thing.

My daughter and new husband had their reception at Tale Of Two just recently. All the staff were very helpful and made our day special. Food was also delicious. I had advise and help throughout arranging the day. Bar staff were really cheerful and did...

A simple request to temporarily switch off a lamp dazzling two different groups of customers was met with an aggressive and rude response from the manager. Completely uncalled for as we were polite and not remotely argumentative when asking.

Food, drinks and service was excellent

One of the best espresso martinis I've had!

The food was really good,service excellent. The views amazing,book a window seat if possible.

Bar staff amazing friendly and what a lovely place to just have a drink n a chat

Best place to eat in cleethorpes if you don’t want fish and chips!

Not really for me, music good but very loud. Floor and tables very sticky anx not cleaned

Cocktails 🍸 are pretty good and varied, I miss the buy 1, get 1 free offer though 😏, nice staff and friendly atmosphere, great sitting outside in the summer too, overlooking the beach ⛱️ x