Porthole CAFE in Middlesbrough

Wow, should have realised when I was the only one in, ordered english breakfast, have to say its up there with the worst I've ever had, no pork, so bacon was turkey, god knows what the sausages were but tasted awful. Won't be back, but really poor ! And not great value either, It used to be buzzing, and a proper greasy spoon !

The Porthole café is a no frills affair, the place is clean and presentable for what it is. I visited with my adult son, he had the full english, there was plenty of it, he said the chicken sausages were better then some pork sausages ha has eaten. I had the Indian breakfast, it was excellent. I will be visiting again.

Unfortunately, the worst breakfast I have ever eaten! Didn't realise it was meat substitutes until I ordered. Gave it 1 star cos A, I couldn't score it any lower and B, the eggs were nice and the staff were sweet and helpful. Greasy hash browns and awful 'turkey' rashers! Waste of £14. X

Shame it can’t be scored lower... if only we had read the reviews first... nothing like the original cafe, who ever heard of a full breakfast without real pork products. Disgusting. Not even informed when ordering.

Only tried Mocha, which was not bad and the service was welcoming and quick. Not a lot of space though so had to sit next to stranger.

Recently taken over by a new owner. Money has been spent refurbishing to a reasonable standard.They still do breakfasts although pork products no longer feature.On this visit we enjoyed ice creams and milkshakes - absolutely delicious.Staff ultra friendly and the place is clean and tidy. Would recommend you give it a go! Opposite the corner gate to Albert Park opposite the old pump house / Scouts new home

My wife & I found this café to be in a good, quiet location conveniently behind Albert Park. We found the interior to be comfortable, the staff to be friendly, polite & we found it good value for money.

we often pop in and have a breakfast and have always enjoyed it ,its presented on the plate nice and is not greasy we think it is good value for money we find the staff are polite we feel comfortable sitting reading the papers while waiting for our food

When the porthole was previously open it was well know for its breakfasts and hot sandwhiches and it was missed when it closed down. We recently realised it has now re opened and we went this morning for a breakfast and it was absolutely awful.The food tasted like it had all been cooked together and on pans/fryers that had been used over and over not washed in between.There was no bacon which makes us believe it’s all maybe now halal meat which no one informed usThe staff were rude it took ages for food to be ready and we couldn’t believe our eyes when it was. Eggs were all over cooked. Half was freezing half wasn’t.Really really disappointed The worst breakfast we’ve ever ever had

As readers will know, I continue my search for the 'Holy Grail' of the perfect English Breakfast, alas this is not it.Although the menu advertises 'Full English Breakfast', it is in fact a poor representation of my favourite meal.The sausages are not Pork, but a pale imitation being 'Chicken Sausages', oh ! the ignominy !The 'bacon' is in fact 'Turkey Bacon', the mind boggles. It's either bacon or it's turkey.What we have here is in fact an Islamic breakfast. I am fully aware of the religious constraints concerning non-halal meat, and I respect the right of Islamic establishments to conform to their religious practices. But what I do object to is this meal being described as 'Full English'. Perhaps they might employ a Christian or non-religious chef who has no such misgivings about handling big, fat, succulent pork bangers, or thick sliced, smoked back bacon.This establishment is a shadow of its former self, pushing the limits of the Trade Description Act with its "Full English".

Used to be a regular here. Never again. Freezing cold with broken heating. Ladies toilets out of order and clueless miserable staff.All of this would not be so bad. But an English breakfast with no bacon, really??I was told that we don't do bacon when I queried it on arrival.If you don't want to serve bacon, then don't offer a full English.... SimpleAs I started eating it became obvious that the beans were at best, tepid.I got up and left, pointing this fact out. The owner stuck his finger in the beans and said they felt warm to him.A complete disaster.Never again

I was returning from the remembrance day parade and was amazed to see the porthole cafe open again. It was always a major landmark in the town. I peeked inside, it was new and renovated but the original cute ice cream ads were still there. I must go there was my thought.Inside was new, spick and span but the menus etc a little disorganised and 1 girl waitress was lazing around.You order and pay first. The staff are good, I liked them, apart from lazy one.There are huge slabs of garish cake on offer as desserts as well as main courses, a step up from the original greasy spoon place. I did not like the cake, the icing on the top tasted savoury, stored in the fridge with savoury food, I suppose. The cake was not good and had a tiny piece of eggshell. But the savoury taste was my main gripe, I left half of if. Coffee was served in attractive glass cup and was OK, but not great. I suppose that I won't return, unfortunately. But, see what you think!

The Porthole Cafe, one of Middlesbrough's much-loved basic cafés, is no longer open. After decades of successful trading, the nautical-themed café near the town's Albert Park, ceased operation some months ago :-(

Oh queridas :( era última aquí hace como 8 años con mi padre tengo que decir que está bien y verdaderamente ido cuesta abajo.

Bog standard greasy spoon. Jumbo breakfast hit the spot and the best black pudding I have had in ages. Portion sizes are generous.

Often come here for a breakfast with friends. Getting the jumbo breakfast with a coffee for £4.99. Staff are willing to swap anything on the breakfast that you don't like which many place won't. Friendly staff good prices good greecy spoon grub!

We went this morning for a breakfast my hopes went up when I got tea in a pot but when the breakfast came it was stone cold and im not exaggerateding when I say stone cold, the fried eggs where snotty which I have to say turned my stomach I was so disappointed as I was really hungry I couldn't eat any of it not even the toast as it had egg snot on it. I wish I had asked for a refund but I was in a hurry to get a maccy ds breakfast before 10:30

Hemos estado aquí un par de veces. La comida es buena para una cuchara de grasa y las raciones son bien. No parece el más limpio desde el exterior, pero está bien. La única cosa que le permite al lugar es el té y el café. Es peor que la cantina de la cárcel ... Solucionar el problema.

We love this little place and go at least once a week for a breakfast. Friendly staff and good old fashioned food at a good price.

Aunque hayan sido claramente algunas mejoras para el café en los años todavía es en mi opinión una buena y tradicional de cuchara grasienta. Visité recientemente por primera vez en 5 años y puedo decir que la misma clientela todavía se utiliza el café. Los desayunos son legendarios, el té ha mejorado e incluso viene en un recipiente. Es básico, tradicional y no expebsive. Siempre vale la pena una visita si su hambre, pero no es para cobardes.