Wee Zoe's in Argyll & Bute

Don't come here. It's awful. I had to put up with chatty lovely ladies serving. Food made fresh was so bad I had to try the carrot cake. I even had to eat all of that to be sure. The coffee all though fresh and full of flavour had the effect of making me want more. Just awful. Stay out. Oh, I've tried to use sarcasm. If I've failed it's because The Blairmore is downright superb! Save me a table for next time I'm passing please!

We ate here two nights in a row in early August. The menu changed each night so there were new things to try. We gelt some of the food, such as the starters, were over priced for the portion (£8.50 for two small croquettes) but they were delicious. However, the slices of cake we got for pudding were easily big enough for two (the picture shows two half slices on one plate) and each only £6.50. The cakes and puddings we had were all top notch A*** (esp choc ganache) so worth coming in just for coffee and cake even if you don't have a meal. We booked in advance via WhatsApp for 6pm dinner: Wed night it was quiet but the Thursday was heaving so glad we booked. The food we had was c. £20 for a main course and was really well made and delicious. Portions aren't huge but were sufficient. There isn't a kids menu so the first night we shared two meals between the three of us and had pudding, but the second night we had a main each. The Island Cafe is cheaper than the Coll Hotel and has a nice home made, welcoming feel to it with local art and two linked rooms, one with sofas and tables and the other just tables. The serving staff were nice young people. My partner also had coffee and cake here and the cakes really are very good (I hear the Chelsea buns are to die for too) and my coffee-snob partner says this is the best coffee available on Coll.

Marvelous honesty tea tent set up by local school students in a fantastic setting. This was the most unexpected treat on our cycle tour along Jura's coast

We were back in Helensburgh after a 2 year gap and had to return to The Upper Crust, believing it couldn't be as good and fun as last time. We were not disappointed at all and had a great evening along with the other diners. It is quirky and different, and the food is excellent with a good choice on the menu and specials board. The owners, Roger and Mary run it themselves, with Mary in the kitchen and Roger front of house. Roger is so entertaining and the whole experience is more than just a meal. We are normally private people, just wanting to enjoy our own company, but have never been anywhere else where you relax so easily and end up talking with fellow diners - all down to Roger and his manner. None of us there that night wanted to leave, and we all stayed far longer than expected - again, all down to Roger and his great company. It was one of the best nights we've had in a long time and we'll be back as soon as we can! Thank you Roger and Mary

Great food and atmosphere. Service prompt and friendly